My name is Joy.
I live in Maine.
I've never met an exclamation mark I didn't like.
Sometimes I host impromptu dance-offs in the middle of the street.
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Coworker: This might be a silly question, but what’s a Jubilee? It’s all over the news right now.
Joy: Oh. My. God. [Coworker’s first, middle and last name].
Joy: The Diamond Jubilee is everything. It is a year-long cross-the-world celebration that culminates in a four-day spectacular (today is the final of the four days). All of which is to honor Queen Elizabeth’s 60 glorious years on the throne
Coworker: So it’s a big deal.
Joy: Do you consider a one thousand-ship strong FLOTILLA a big deal? If so, then yes. And the hats. Don’t get me started on the hats.
Coworker: That does sound fantastic. These announcers are lovely, too. They can’t get enough of William and his bride Kate. They said that Kate is a really good match for him, have you heard that?
Joy: Well she is a good match for anyone because Kate is perfect.
Coworker: But they are saying she is helping him to get ready for his royal role.
Joy: I mean, I could go deeply into my creepiness and love for her, but Kate Middleton is just objectively speaking one of the greatest creatures that ever graced the planet. They met in college and after college Wills broke up with her because he freaked out and is an idiot and so she basically went on An Official Tour Of Awesomeness — looking amazing and happy and he came groveling back because he realized that she is a gift to all of us and he was not allowed to eff it up.
Coworker: Wow. What I woman.
Joy: I know.
Coworker: So who is this Princess Charlene person. I don’t think I trust her.
Joy: I think you’re finally learning.