Your Daily Dose of Joy

Last night I had a dream that I was sitting on a train next to a bunch of vampires.

I knew they were vampires because I’ve been doing a lot of research into blood suckers lately. It started when I watched Callista Gingrich make a tribute video to Nazi propaganda talking about American Imperialism. From there it went to googling every public appearance C.G. ever made. Then I put together her aging timeline. From there, I googled, “effect of drinking human blood on the soul” and looked deep into the eyes of this face.

After this exhaustive research, I  concluded that at least during one time in her life Callista Gingrich drank the blood of other humans. 

In my dream I tried to hide from the vampires by putting a scarf over my head (this is also a successful way to hide from scary parts of movies), eating a sandwich of garlic and trying to pretend to be a vampire to fool the other vampires.

This, obviously did not work. Vampires are many things, but stupid is not one of them. Soon enough I found myself surrounded, each vampire looking a bit more sinister than the last. 

“Leave Callista Aloneeeeeeeeeee.” The head vampire snarled.

“You don’t understand Callista’s poweeeeerrrrrrr” Chimed in the next vampire.

“This is a waaaarrrnnning” cried a third.

I awoke with a start. And with the knowledge that Callista Gingrinch is a vampire, she knows I’m onto her and she’s starting to glamour her way into my dreams.