The True American Unification
On the way home I sat next to the coach of the Atlanta Falcons. Of course I made him pass our three hours together comparing his coaching style to that of Eric Taylor’s. He didn’t seem to mind.
Jayne Leiner, a 58-year-old Democratic voter from Cape Elizabeth, said...– My gorgeous mother is quoted in today’s paper about women’s health and the views of the Republican party
April, Aspirations and Athleticism
I am having a really good April. The kind of April where I feel like my planets are aligning and things feel good in all sectors of my life (KNOCK ON WOOD) and so if I put my mind to something, I can achieve that. The positivity of this April is inspiring to the point that I’ve decided that instead of waiting until August to get in shape, as per my norm, I am going to start trying to get in...
Dear HBO, You're a Jerk
HBO! How dare you get me hooked on season one of Game of Thrones only to make it IMPOSSIBLE for me to watch season two. I can’t even buy a pass to it online! I AM WILLING TO PAY A SMALL FEE, HBO! A SMALL FEE! But no, you don’t want my small fee, you want to be a jerk.
Joy: It’s 11:11, make a wish! Gentleman Caller: Rabbit, rabbit, rabbit Joy: No! Rabbit, Rabbit, Rabbit is what you say on the first of the month! At 11:11, you make a wish Gentleman Caller: What if I want to wish for rabbits? Joy: I sense that you’re mocking me. Gentleman Caller: perhaps a little. Joy: You need to go outside, turn counter-clockwise three times, spit and ask the...
Good News/Bad News
Good news: My bonus goes into my checking account the day before I leave for my London vacation! Bad news: My bonus goes into my checking account the day before I leave for my London vacation.
Office Pet Names
Coworker: Can we please start calling you The Sheriff? Joy: I prefer The Enforcer, honestly. Coworker: Oh yes, that’s much better.
Anonymous asked: I'm going to echo earlier anon. Seriously, what is so special about Beyonce? Please enlighten me. I don't get why you call her Beysus or whatever it is.
Anonymous asked: If it's really Beyonce's tumblr, why is it all photos of her? Just seems like a fan blog to me. Nothing personal to say it's really her. Oh & what's the big deal with her? I mean she's a good performer and all, but I don't understand the hype.
The only thing more embarrassing than catching a guy on the plane looking at...– Adults Should Read Adult Books - Joel Stein I’m assuming Joel is just trolling here, because if not this is just an uninformed opinion. (via folkinz) Trolling or not, Joel can go eff his whole self.
Your work nemesis comes in tomorrow, and quits in a spectacular fashion....– Ask an Evil Genie: Dispose of My Nemesis by Meredith Haggerty (via slacktory) I really think that “GREAT riddance” is a pretty excellent burn, and that is why I’m not good at fights. (via luckypaperstars) The evil genie answered my wish and then ruined my life.