As you may remember, I have issues with my wrists from typing so goddamn much. So I have been wearing wrist braces and going to physical therapy and all that jazz, totally normal, right? Well, today they had me try electro-shock therapy on my arm. Like they put paddles with currents all up and down my shoulder and arm. Am I the only one that thinks that’s a little… off?
the second "shove it" of the day
Here’s the thing that’s really getting my blood boiling (and I should be careful, because as a woman, my health insurance is probably going to cost more than the male half of the population). Nobody aside from me, Erica, Spencer and people at Gawker media are really talking about John “Yes We Cunt” McCain’s disrespect for his wife. Now we have even more proof — he makes jokes about domestic...
John McCain just joked about beating his wife.
ericasavestheday: (Maybe it’s the governor’s approval rating and you are running from him like you are from the president?) (Chuckling) And I stopped beating my wife just a couple of weeks ago…. As my mom says, sarcasm always has an element of truth… How is that even funny? Like, how can he possibly think, “ha, ha, funny domestic violence. That’s why she plasters on the make up...
John McCain beats his wife. →
I have a new mantra. Its called: Shove it. I have been saying it a lot lately in the “real world” and its time to bring it to the internets. Today’s “Shove it” goes to the New York Post for classifying Lara Logan as “a babe” and “sexy” and reporting on her sex life instead of talking about the fact that she is one of the only true journalists...
know your target audience.
Dad: I want to get a pedicure. Can we do that when I come out to visit? I don’t want to get like pink polish or something; I just want to get cleaned up.
Me: Sure, but the place I go to is called “the pampered girl.” I don’t think that’s where you want to go.
Dad: hmm, maybe I should open up a nail salon for men. Something strong and masculine. We could call it Male Nail.
Me: Just a reminder that I live in San Francisco, and I think that opening a shop with that name might not get your desired clientele.
Dad: Pampered Girl it is.
Scarlett Johnasson likes Barack Obama more than...
Hmm, ScarJo… maybe he’s just not that into you?
joy went to the opera
Lisa and I went to see Ariodante last night, and while it was totally lacking in horny gnomes, it was still pretty good. A brief recap with some modern interpretations below: Hour One: So we have Ariodante (we’ll call him Ari) who is all hot-to-trot over Princess Ginerva (and we’ll call her Jenny) and wants to bang her. Our hero is in luck: Jenny loves him back! And her father The King is all...
I live in never-never land.
Check out this article about how San Francisco wants to rename one of its sewage treatment facilities after George W. Bush. Oh, San Francisco. I love you, I do. But after living here for the past two years, I am starting to realize that you might be *too* liberal for me. I love myself a blue state as much as the next progressive, but i need a little bit of ideal diversity in my life. Maybe its...
fek: keithgessen: I’ve been getting a lot of guff from the youth recently. It’s been a regular guffathon really. Just guff guff guff. Oh, youth. “Inscrutable youth,” as Elif says, “with your enormous sweatshirts and tiny telephones…” And your three published lines of poetry, your day jobs, your bright fresh faces, your future masterpieces—how haughty you are! How condescending. Well let me...
Happy Birthday, Spencer's Momma! →
So... I agree with the Supreme Court
Now, I think that what Patrick Kennedy did (raping his eight year old step-daughter) is atrocious. I hope he is sent to a place where he never gets to see the sun again. Ever. However, I have to agree with the Supreme Court’s decision not to execute him. He is, a very bad man. But, I just don’t think we can get by with this biblical eye-for-an-eye, tooth-for-a-tooth shit anymore.
Miles to go? Yeah, to Canada, which is where you...
Confession of the day: I voted for Ralph Nader in 2000. In New Hampshire. I know, I know, I am the reason we have been stuck with W for the last eight years. What do you want from me? I was 18 at the time! What stupid shit did you do at 18? Yeah, that’s what I thought. Anyway, Nader is back. Or, he never really went away. Now, I am not one to advocate for the two-party system, and heaven...
the sworn virgins of Albania
Check out this powerful article about how women in Albania used to enter into a pledge of chastity in order to be treated as well as Albanian men. My favorite line of the piece? “The tradition of the sworn virgin can be traced to the Kanun of Leke Dukagjini, a code of conduct passed on orally among the clans of northern Albania for more than 500 years. Under the Kanun, the role of a woman...
dont tell me to get off your fucking lawn anymore....
goddamnit, gen-xers, stop writing lists about how to deal with us and get to work.
proof that spencer is more important than me. (if...
Spencer: i *need* to get the mccain camp’s position on Guantanamo and first they hung up on me, and then this sweet voiced young lady was like, “someone will get back to you bye” Spencer: and i’m like, wait now, you didnt take my number… “oh yeah” (giggles) “what is your number?” Joy: little cunt. and I say that in a “yes we cunt” sort of frame Spencer:...
on pop culture
is it bad that I am thinking of getting cable just so I can watch showtime’s secret diary of a call girl?
Spencer is now at Firedog lake! So. Freaking.... →
how very 'when harry met sally' of me
Like many fellow millennials (don’t worry, you’re a millennial in my book, erica) I don’t really know how to date. Or, should I say, I am still in this stage where I would meet someone in class, text with him a bunch, add a little drunken make out session and Poof! I have a boyfriend (yes, making out with me is just THAT good). I would then joyously frolic around campus with said boyfriend until...
on being yentas
Erica: I am on this horrible conference call where we are trying to reframe what it is to be a good catholic Joy: hahah. How the hell did you get chosen for that. Erica: I dont know! Do you think my colleague thinks I’m catholic, and that is how she chose people? Because Matt is on this call, too and we are both Jewish Joy: I don’t know, but I would start kvetching soon in case there is any...
a baby for Jamie Lynn
I give it about ten years before this one self-destructs, too. Am i being too generous?
Joy: The Father’s day gift I sent got sent back to me, do you know why? Momma: Well, did you get the address right? Joy: Um, yeah, Momma. I think I know where you live. Momma: Well, you haven’t been home since February, so I thought maybe you’d forgotten!
and the best story of the day goes to... →
When you’re doing the work you’re meant to do, it feels right and every day is a...– Um… yeah, that’s because Oprah is paid like TEN BILLION DOLLARS A YEAR. I bet things feel right for her. Try working for causes in which you believe but making pennies. Then tell me how your days feel, Oprah.
How I plan on saying goodbye to Spencer from this...
Spencer: i will ttyl, bye Joy: bye, dont touch underage girls
And When Did You Last See Your Father?
alexbalk: Jesus Christ, if my dad somehow goes before I do I’m going to bawl like a fucking baby for weeks. I’m in awe of Luke Russert’s composure. Amazing. This kid is just incredible.
On Fashion Choices
I hung out with New Guy last night and since it was kind of late when we parted ways New Guy insisted that I take a cab home. I didn’t have any cash for the cab so he slipped me a $20 as I got into the cab. This prompted the following conversation between the cab driver and me: Cab Driver: So, did he give you enough money? Joy: Yes. Cab Driver: That’s nice that they pay for your ride home ...
file this under, "yet another person who doesnt... →
I just hope he votes for Obama (and never leaves... →
If I have to hear anyone else talk about their babies, I swear I am going to get...– Emily
Everything that’s happened in the last year. If only the campiagn was really that short.
As we already discussed, I have the day off tomorrow. That means today is my Friday, people. (tgimf = thank god its my friday) You’re going to have to go a whole three days without me. So, I suggest you do the following things: 1. Read Erica’s tumblr 2. Read Spencer’s blog 3. Cheer for the Celtics. As Riikka says, “Boston is a ridiculously crazy sports town.” And,...
like i would ever actually do that.
Joy: i just posted some photos of me in bondage on my tumblr
Spencer: oh snap
Joy: consider it a late birthday present from me to you
Joy: I think it makes me look badass
Spencer: ok lets check this out
Spencer: OH WHAT A GYP
Spencer: you suck
Spencer: i got drunk with an ex-dominatrix last night
Joy: Of course you did.
Joy: what, and you thought this was going to become some sort of theme of your week?
Spencer: just an amusing coincidence!
stomping out evil doers.
So I don’t want to get all Joshua David Stein on you, but Antonia was ROBBED last night on Top Chef. They chose Lisa over Antonia? I am all about loving to hate people on reality TV, but Lisa just presses too many of my buttons (and not in the good way). Lets break this down a little: Lisa = totally untalented evil-bitchmonster-of-death who throws other contestents under the bus Antonia =...
So I have sort of fallen out of love with facebook. I don’t know how it happened, exactly. It seems like just yesterday that I was spending hours writing on your wall and conducting friend purges. But I realized today that I had not logged into facebook in over a week. A WEEK. I have stopped thinking in status messages. I didn’t facebook stalk my most recent crush. I will not accept any “lil’...
Stop the open season
ericasavestheday: OK, let me just say this. Yes, it’s great to finally have a democratic nominee, and yes, I am ecstatic that Obama won – I think he’s doing everything right campaign-wise and is an incredibly inspiring politician. But goddamn it, just because Obama won does not mean its open season for the Hilary hate. You know why? Because half of the fucking Democratic Party voted for her,...
postcards from my momma
Momma: What are you doing with your day off tomorrow? Joy: Cleaning my apartment and doing like 3 months worth of laundry. Momma: Don’t you have a date with that new guy tomorrow? Good thing you’re cleaning your apartment ;-) Joy: Mother, I don’t know what you’re talking about. I never invite boys to my apartment. I am pure and virginal. Momma: pure and virginal AND you will have a...
culture whores, we are not
Lisa: I am going to be in major danger of falling asleep tonight at the opera Joy: Should we purchase some sugary gummi bears? Lisa: man, i dont know. i’ve been so sleepy lately; I dont know what will help! I hope it’s a good, raucous opera Joy: me too. I’m praying for at least one murder an act Lisa: there is a horny gnome in act 1 Joy: excellent
Obama clinches nomination →
It is important to remember that Roe v. Wade did not mean that abortions could...– Amazing NYTimes Essay by Dr. Waldo L. Fielding. (via ericasavestheday)
This is why I hate sex and the city. because some... →
on birthday wishes
If you know anything about me, you know that I have two internet soul mates in my life: Erica (the original) and Spencer (the token boy). They are both celebrating milestones this weekend. Erica just moved into a new apartment and Spencer just celebrated his birthday. Although their relationship is as platonic as mine is with each of them, I have this not-so-secret hope that Spencer and Erica...