January 2012
Valentine's Day Gift Ideas for Every Conceivable... →
Guys I made this list for you. I want to make sure you get some on Valentine’s Day. Because I care.
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A mouse just crawled across my foot and scurried...
This week, she wins.
I surrender.
luciwithaneye asked: Not enough Toby gifs.
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Anonymous asked: What's up with the TZ spam this lovely Tuesday morning? I'm not complaining just wonder what has come over you?
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When you get home tonight, you’re going to be confronted with the instinct to...
– TOBY ZIEGLER WOULD BE ON THE TUMBLR RADAR ALL THE TIME.
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megsokay asked: ..but Capital Couture today though.
He Shall, From Time to Time...
Joy: This reminds me of a really interesting fact about the history of the State of the Union!
Gentleman Caller: That line should be added to the "shit nobody says" video.
Dreams, Callista Gingrich and Blood Suckers
Last night I had a dream that I was sitting on a train next to a bunch of vampires.
I knew they were vampires because I’ve been doing a lot of research into blood suckers lately. It started when I watched Callista Gingrich make a tribute video to Nazi propaganda talking about American Imperialism. From there it went to googling every public appearance C.G. ever made. Then I put together her...
And I Almost Picked up a 'George Sand' at the...
Chiara: What does is say about us that we have cats named Emily Dickinson and Bridget Jones?
Joy: And we have discussions about how we think our cats are happier when our apartments are clean.
Chiara: WE ARE PARODIES OF OURSELVES!!
As we mark the 39th anniversary of Roe v. Wade, we must remember that this...
– President Obama’s statement on the 39th anniversary of Roe v. Wade (via theamericanprospect)
I Wrote This About how Valentine's Day is Lame and... →
In the early stages of my current relationship, I was bemoaning the fact that my travel schedule caused me to miss apple picking season. After listening to my whine, my current boyfriend showed up at my door with handful of freshly-picked apples (earning him the nickname “Bon Iver” amongst some friends). This small gesture (and there’ve been many more since then) carries much more meaning for...
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There are several kinds of love. One is a selfish, mean, grasping, egotistical...
– John Steinbeck, in a letter advising his high school-aged son on love
Skills I Am Fundamentally Unable to Acquire
How to properly fold the bottom sheet. (I’m probably going to have kids some day and those snarky little bastards are going to come home from a sleepover and remark on how well little Suzy’s mom is able to fold bottom sheets and how little Suzy’s sheets are never wrinkled and instead of facing my shame I am going to promptly disown those little resource-suckers and see how nice...
There are a few things I know for sure (I must start my day with coffee and end...
– HEY LANEY
FINALLY
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fatgirlinohio asked: Hey Joy, I saw in your Chrismukkah post that you used to live in San Francisco. I'm headed there this weekend and was wondering if you had any favorite places or things to do. My travel companion has never been, and I haven't been there for about 10 years. Thanks!
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Chrismukkah Lists and Life Lessons
When I was 12 or 13 I asked my mother what she wanted for Christmas.
She proceeded to take me to the fancy kitchen store and pointed out some measuring cups and bowls.
“Mom, you realize that Christmas is for fun presents, right?” I condescendingly explained in a tone pitch-perfect for my pre-teen self.
“This is what I want,” she replied simply.
I marked her as...
My own mother. MY OWN MOTHER
Mom: Guess what I’m reading?
Joy: ARE YOU FINALLY READING THE HUNGER GAMES?!?!?!?!
Mom: Actually I’m reading Mockingjay — I spent the entire weekend reading the series. They are really captivating books, you know!
Joy: Welcome to what I told you OVER A YEAR AGO
YOU ARE ALL NATIVE ENGLISH SPEAKERS
You know how VH1 did that thing with the ladies who tried to date Flava Flav and Brett Michaels where they sent them to charm school to learn manners? I want to do that with the women of the Bachelor. But instead of sending them to charm school, I’d sent them to grammar school.
By which I mean second grade.
vrai-lean-uh:
I know it has been said before, but I wish I could sit down with...
Theories
I have this theory that there are people in your life that you are meant to meet.
And when you find these people — your people— you should treat them as the special and truly remarkable people they are. You should do whatever it takes to celebrate these people, your people, whether that be sending them flowers the day they start their new job, calling them when you think they might...
Zooey Deschenel's hair is a wig.
theasil:
It has to be.
It looks like she has mutton chops